Will I ever ride again?

I recently wrote about my motorcycle accident. It was my first real crash. Now that it’s happened I’m not so sure I want to ride again.

I began that article by talking about how I always imagined what it would be like to crash. I would think about it every time I rode. Now that I have crashed, how can I possibly ride and NOT think about it? If I get back on, I’ll probably obsess about it and freak out. Or go so slow that it will be dangerous.

So my inclination is not to ride again. I really don’t want to go through a crash like that (or worse) ever again. And I can’t control what other people do. That accident was not my fault and there wasn’t much I could do to avoid it. If I can’t be in charge then some truly terrible things could happen. And I don’t want to find out just how bad it can get.

This is a hard choice to make. I really love riding. I love being a woman on a motorcycle which is still a somewhat rare, bad-ass thing. I love the thrill of it, taking a turn well, feeling like I’m leaned over (in my head I looked awesome). I’m obviously passionate about it, I started a site for women’s t-shirts! But I just can’t over the thought of crashing even worse than this.

Maybe I can just do track days? At least if I crash under that scenario it would be my fault, eliminating the one variable I can’t control. But is that enough? I don’t know. Right now, I’m just not feeling it. And this really upsets me because I really love to ride.

Possibly the last photo of me on a bike, ever.
Possibly the last photo of me on a bike, ever.

This entry was posted in Life. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Will I ever ride again?

  1. Sheila says:

    First I want to say I hope you are recovering from your injuries physically and mentally. I’m pretty sure you are aware that it could have been much worse even tho it was still pretty bad.

    I would like to share with you my story and why I still ride.

    5 years ago I was in an accident while a passenger with my husband. No ones fault, just a freak tire blow out. Lucky for us we had friends with us who knew how to handle a crash scene and to call our family as we were in Nebraska and we live in Ohio. My husband shattered his right tibia (2 surgeries) and broke a rib and collar bone. I had 7 broken ribs, shoulder blade, collar bone, hand (surgery) and head trauma (basilar internal bleed). Hubby was convinced from day one that we would ride again,,,I was not so sure. I had been only riding my own for 2 years and was only riding 2 up because the trip to Montana would have been to much for me as a novice rider.
    I’m glad to say he was right and I was wrong. One year later we were in North Carolina on both bikes and have been riding ever since.

    It WAS NOT an easy decision to make and I will say our grown children are still not happy with it. But when I was questioning myself as to if I really wanted to get back on a bike again, I made myself remember just why I wanted to ride in the first place and how I felt when I rode. My husband had been riding since he was 18, to him it was just a fact of life, I had only been riding as a passenger for 15 and learned to ride at the advanced age of 44. (We are now 52 and 55). And while I am sure that I can not be very articulate about this I just knew that the feeling I get and the calmness I get while riding, I can not experience that anywhere else or in any other way. Freedom is such an over used word but I’m not sure how else to describe it. No matter how stressed out I may be from work or family or whatever issues, I calm down and relax immediately when I climb on my bike and head out on the road. I love the power, the feeing of being in control and one with the bike. That my body and mind is able to control this machine and I can go anywhere I want on it……

    If you do decide to ride again, and I realize that it is a very difficult and personal decision that no one should influence you about, do it on your own terms. Ride your own ride. Even if you only ride around the block to start with, that will be enough. When I first got on mine I road for 20 minutes and was shaking so bad when I got home I could hardly get off the bike. Retake a Motorcycle Beginners course again,,I did. And don’t let anyone try to pressure you in speed, distance or anything else. Always ride your own ride.
    And for those you were riding with that left you at the side of the road, I don’t even have words that I can use to express the depths of my contempt for. You never leave a fellow rider. NEVER.

    I hope you heal fast, and I hope that you ride again for the reasons you originally started to ride. We all know that life is a crap shoot and that we risk injuries driving a car or simply walking somewhere but we also know that the risks on a bike are higher than those taken while driving or walking. But while you are recovering, take the time to think about the benefits that you received while riding and how you felt about them. Give it time. Only you will know what is best for you and again, do not let anyone pressure you one way or the other.

    Take care and stay safe,
    Sheila

Comments or Feedback?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *